Wibble

Archive for May, 2009

I thought I should write a bit about this guy on the corner of my Banner, his name is “Jack Shit”

He is the brain child of an artist named Andy Sparrow.

You can see more of Andy’s artwork over at his website http://www.bloodrunners.co.uk/blood/index.htm

The Bloodrunners series was published in Bike magazine as they tried to migrate away from Paul Sample’s Ogri, I think the Mag thought it was an update on Ogri but the series was pretty short lived as unlike myself most readers obviously didn’t enjoy the strip.

// edit ===

If you have a look here

http://www.bloodrunners.com/various/press-clippings/bikemagArticle-aug2008.htm

you can ready Andy’s words on the demise of Bloodrunners which is not as I had believed

== //

Lom and his bike Hoover were the stars of the show but Jack Shit was the guy that for some reason really captured my imagination and I even painted a huge version of this picture on the wall of one of the flats I lived in with Nigel Hamilton when I first left home.

If you want to check out the series they are on the website

---

Andy has a new strip based on this graphic look and feel, the star is a Chick, still think Jack is better myself  but go check it out for yourself and see what you think :)

If your on face book check out the JetMetal fan page http://www.facebook.com/pages/Jet-Metal/96452039290

if like me you have grabbed a non standard theme you may not have the code to make this work in the theme, after a brief trial with nested tables i realized this was just not going to work, time to get with the new format and do it using a style sheet.

After a bit of Google-ing around I discovered that I needed to add an images section this to my style.css

/* Begin Images */

p img {
        padding: 0;
        max-width: 100%;
        }

/*      Using ‘class=”alignright”‘ on an image will (who would’ve
        thought?!) align the image to the right. And using ‘class=”centered’,
        will of course center the image. This is much better than using
        align=”center”, being much more futureproof (and valid) */

img.centered {
        display: block;
        margin-left: auto;
        margin-right: auto;
        }

img.alignright {
        padding: 4px;
        margin: 0 0 2px 7px;
        display: inline;
        }

img.alignleft {
        padding: 4px;
        margin: 0 7px 2px 0;
        display: inline;
        }

.alignright {
        float: right;
        }

.alignleft {
        float: left
        }

/* End Images */

I got this code from the classic style sheet, now i can insert an image and use the syntax

<img class=”alignleft” title=”text here” src=”http://www.wibble.net.nz/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/imagename.png” alt=”text here”/>

And my image will wrap around ether left, right or centered, one trick also to remember is if you want to get the test to start after the image you can insert an empty tag like this

<div style=”clear:both;”></div>

however the editor will keep on deleting this ..

I have been playing with the header and have thought an image map may be cool to add to this, i havent used one of these for years and last time i did it in HTML.

So the key was to get the code for the image map, which i got from this site

http://riddle.pl/mappet/

You just put in a link to the image you want to image map, then draw the maps then copy the code to the header [in this case].

<div id=”imgmap”>
 <img height=”290″ width=”900″ src=”header.jpg” alt=”" />
 <ol>
  <li id=”area1″><a href=”http://”> area1 </a> </li>
  <li id=”area2″><a href=”http://”> area2 </a> </li>
  <li id=”area3″><a href=”http://”> area4 </a> </li>
   </ol>
</div>

I remove the img line, and just entered the rest of the code in the header.php, the image line was redundant, I also found you have to put the closing </div> tag at the end to get the code inside the header. and of course add the url’s for the shortcuts

Then you have to go to the style.php and add the second part of the code

#imgmap {
 position: relative;
 _zoom: 1;
}

#imgmap li {
 position: absolute;
 display: block;
 list-style: none;
 outline: 0px dashed;
 overflow: hidden;
}

#imgmap li a {
 display: block;
 width: 100%;
 height: 100%;
 _background: url(space.gif);
 text-indent: -1000em;
}

#area1 {
 left: 740px;
 top: 60px;
 width: 153px;
 height: 227px;
}

#area2 {
 left: 55px;
 top: 154px;
 width: 53px;
 height: 48px;
}
#area3 {
 left: 299px;
 top: 105px;
 width: 53px;
 height: 47px;
}

in this code the only changes were the line outline: 0px dashed; whic the generatotr wrote as 1px which of course meant the boxes showed.

That was all there was to it

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. 
2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
   • When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
   • The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
   • After wrecking your boss’s car.
   • When she is using her teeth.
3. Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.
4. If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
5. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate’s fridge is forbidden. however complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
6. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.  In fact, even remembering your mate’s birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy’s choice.
7.  In the mini-bus, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
8. When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.
9. You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment (commonly known as a Dutch oven), she’s officially your girlfriend.
10. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach … and it’s delivered by a topless model and only when it’s free.
11. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
12. Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.
13. Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
14. If a man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything.
15. Women who claim they ‘love to watch sports’ must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
16. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
17. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that’s just greedy.
18. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
19. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly ‘just a friend’ have carnal, drunken monkey sex. The fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
20. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
21. Thou shall not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime, green, yellow, orange or sky blue.
22. The girl who replies to the question ‘What do you want for Christmas?’ with ‘If you loved me, you’d know what I want!’ gets an Xbox 360 or a Playstation- End of story.
23. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men’s Gymnastics. Ever.
24. Never wear a man bag to work.
25. We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
    • ‘GUTS’ is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, ‘are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?’
    • ‘BALLS’ is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife square on the ass and having the balls to say, ‘You’re next, fatty!’

So whats the cold duck rally all about?

For that matter whats any Motorcycle Rally about?

A bunch of guys camping in a field and drinking beer.  yup that’s about it, and of course for some reason we seem to be compelled to do it in the middle of winter. 

But all i can say is it was fun, a weekend with no computers, a flat cellphone and hardly any reception and nothing to do but talk bullshit about bikes.  sounds pretty ideal.  of course there was the usual silliness on the Saturday afternoon with a set of games and a burnout competition.

On Saturday night we were treated to a wet tee shirt competition and a great collection of bands, most notable for me was a covers band called FM, which I am lead to believe stands for Four Maoris,  well i am not sure if the level of alcohol consumption was just right or what but they were GREAT! I thoroughly enjoyed them.

So a good time, and I think I may well be  there next year as well!

And of course the Cold Kiwi is getting close so not long to wait to do it all again

To see the rest of the pics go to our Flickr site..